Three Little Words

I don’t usually write personal blogs, but today I’m going to. I feel like I need to remove everything from my head and put it down somewhere.

Mr J and I often joke that my family are like the Waltons. My parents live in between my father’s two brothers and they share a semi-communal garden. My grandad lives up the same road and my grandma (mum’s mum) moved in with us over 15yrs ago after my grandpa died of the Big C. My grandparents have always been a huge part of my life.

I don’t really know when it started, but maybe 10yrs ago or so I made a pact with myself to tell everyone who I love that I love them on a regular basis. It’s been met with mixed reactions. Though I know they do, neither my dad or grandad have ever said it back. My grandma never says “I love you” but instead says “lots of love”. My sister occasionally mumbles something about love and my mum (a similarly emotional type to myself) embraced it wholeheartedly and says it back constantly. I say it less often to my friends for fear of looking like a weirdo, but I say it nonetheless.

Growing up, mum also taught us never to go to bed on an argument. I’m not entirely sure she takes her own advice, but I always do. In fact, Mr J and I (while we certainly have our moments) rarely argue what I would call properly and always talk things through, even if we do end up having to agree to disagree.

I’m not really sure what’s made all this so important to me. I’m not sure how much I do it for myself and how much I do it for other people. But I’m glad I do.

On Saturday my grandma had a major stroke. My parents were out of the country on vacation and had to get an emergency flight back after my sister found her. After a barrage of tests in A&E, grandma was put in the same ward my granny was put on three years ago when she had her stroke. Actually in the same bed too, which is painful at best. When granny had her stroke, she could still talk some and was quite alert, but after 4mths of struggle and unhappiness she passed away. Grandma’s stroke seems to be a lot worse. She can’t speak at all and is mostly out of consciousness.

When my granny had her stroke, my family rallied. Every day the family was there; they bought food, flowers, cards, read to her, did puzzles with her, wheeled her outside for fresh air and so on. The staff on the stroke ward said they’d never seen anything quite like it. Though mum’s side of the family is smaller, we will do the same. No-one wants her to be alone.

I hope with all my heart that grandma doesn’t have to go through the four months of hell my granny went through. I hope it is quick and peaceful. I want her to wake up enough again so that I can tell her I love her one more time, but I know she knows.

You never know what’s around the corner. You never know when something or someone might be lost to you before you are ready. We get one short life and I’m a firm believer that if you really want to do something then you should absolutely make it happen; no excuses. Don’t waste time arguing over petty, unimportant things and don’t go to bed angry and unhappy with someone. It’s ok to disagree. Just make sure they know you love them. It’s only three little words.


12 Responses to “Three Little Words”

  1. 1 Rob Cameron June 13, 2011 at 8:58 am

    Lovely post Wendy. Your words are so true. I hope you get your wish and it would be nice to think your Nan could recover. thoughts are with you.

  2. 3 Rhiannon June 13, 2011 at 9:45 am

    Such a touching blog & so true. Thoughts are with you & your family. Xx

  3. 4 Rhiannon Hughes June 13, 2011 at 9:49 am

    A very touching blog & so true, My thoughts are with you and your family.xx

  4. 5 Stephen O'Donnell June 13, 2011 at 10:03 am

    Terrific post Wendy. My view is similar, “if you have something nice to say, then say it”. Let the people you love know what you think of them. It’s free, and very liberating.

  5. 6 Katie June 13, 2011 at 10:04 am

    Oh Wendy. That’s terrible news. I’m really sorry. xx

    PS – Excellent advice though. I don’t say it often enough.

  6. 7 Graham Snuggs June 13, 2011 at 10:10 am

    A good reminder of what’s really important in life , Wendy. Hope things work out as you wish.

  7. 8 Sara June 13, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Thinking of you and your family Wendy xxx (I lost my Grand-parents years ago, my Nan was last to go at 102 years old!!,but my parents are 76 & 77,which is probably the age of your Grandparents)

  8. 9 HR without ticking boxes June 13, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Bless you and your family Wendy – its a crap thing for any family to go through. Your right it is always good to say “I love you” to some who you love and this is one of the reasons why. Mr M and I are both thinking of you. Hugs x

  9. 10 elkieholland June 13, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    Thoughts with you and so much you say strikes a large chord.

  10. 11 Paul Weston June 15, 2011 at 6:31 am

    Hi Wendy, those 3 little words were hardly ever mentioned when I was growing up, too much of a hardy up bringing I guess, which is probably why I am a bit of a softie now and weep at lassie and stuff!!

    Anyway, I thought your blog post was very touching and it bought a tear to my eye. I wish I could tell my grandad, great aunt and uncle who have now passed away that I love them, as I never did when they were alive, and this plays on my mind regularly. Especially my Grandad, he was my hero, the one person I have ever truly looked up to and respected!

    I tell my wife I love her at least 10 times a day, always before we go to sleep, and always 1st thing in the morning, and I am constantly telling the boys how much I love them, sometimes I tell them in German just to confuse them! Nevertheless, they will not be brought up ashamed to show their feelings, and tell each other how they feel as I was!

    After all, it is only 3 little words right?

  11. 12 Lara June 20, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Nicely put.

    Bit belated I know xx

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Over ten years’ recruitment, employability, HR and sales experience in both the private and public sectors. I've worked in construction recruitment, FMCG headhunting, and in higher education on the employability agenda.

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